In the previous blog we looked at the life of Malcolm Dexter and
something of our involvement in sorting out his estate. It was certainly interesting for us to go
through his papers and experience something of the life that he lived. This challenged me to reconsider my priorities
in life.
Looking back over those months as
we sorted through Malcolm’s papers and belongings we were reminded once again that
death does not discriminate but comes to us all at some time or another. For some it may be unexpected and tragic. For others it may be at a good old age. Ultimately we will all have to face this
experience.
So in asking the question “What
happens when we die?” I really want to look at the question from the point of
view of those of us who are left behind.
The deceased person’s life has come to an end. What of those who remain? There will be a sense of loss, the natural
consequences of grief, sadness, emptiness and all the other emotions that we
will experience when someone close passes away.
But what does it mean for those who have to go through the personal
effects and deal with them?
Malcolm had been meaning to write
a will but had never got round to it. We
were thankful that he didn’t write a will.
It meant that the solicitor had the responsibility of making the decisions
on everything. It would have been very difficult
and expensive for us if we had to carried out Malcolm’s wishes had there been
in a will.
Firstly to summarize some of the
more obvious lessons that we have noted:
- If there is no will intestacy rules will apply and it can become very complicated and messy for any remaining family. In Malcolm’s case because he had no immediate family or property it did make it easier for us, although Malcolm’s wishes could not be carried out.
- Malcolm had a funeral plan which was a great help and took the burden off us. He had also indicated who he wanted to conduct the funeral. We were grateful that we didn’t have to arrange that side of things.
- He had a list of people he wanted contacted if anything was to happen to him. With phone numbers listed these people were soon informed.
As a general impression, the
lesson that most stands out for me as we went through all his belongings: books,
CDs, ornaments, furniture, clothes, pictures, many still in unpacked cardboard
boxes was that it made me re-think how I view my possessions. We had downsized about 19 months prior to
this and so had quite a good clear out then.
Where was my focus now? What were
my priorities about the things that I possessed? Where was my heart really?
Jesus reminded his disciples that
it is better to store up treasure in heaven where moth and rust does not affect
it. We cannot take anything with us when
we die and it certainly won’t benefit us either. We leave it all behind. Jesus called the rich farmer[1] a
fool because although he was rich in possessions, food stored up for many years
and probably feeling secure in his retirement, he was not rich towards God. He had viewed his surplus as his and had not
been generous, sharing what he didn’t really need with those who could benefit
from it. His wealth had no eternal
benefit for him.
In Luke 18 the rich ruler who
came and asked what he must do to receive eternal life was told by Jesus that
he needed to sell what he had and distribute it to the poor and he would have
treasure in heaven. Then he was to
follow Him. He went away very sad. The reason given was that he was extremely
rich.[2] In other words, he had more than he needed
and was not generous and willing to use what he had to help those in need. He was self-focused.
I think we forget that this life
is only a transitioning stage. We live
as though we are going to live forever - what we have is ours to do with as we
want. We think that we deserve nice
things, enjoy pleasures, holidays, nice houses and cars. It’s my money after all, isn’t it? However, what is God’s estimation of how we
have used what he has given us to enjoy?
Jim Elliot was killed in the
Ecuadorian jungle trying to reach the forest people with God’s message. He said, “He is no fool who gives what he
cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”
Paul shares similar thoughts when he says, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of
knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all
things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.”[3] What is my priority in life? This is the question we need to ask ourselves? How do I value what I have? All of us have a responsibility – but is it
selfish, self-focused or is it seeking a greater purpose, one that is seeking
to honour God and bless others with the blessings that we have received?
Another aspect that has been
meaningful to me has been Hebrews
13:5 Keep your life free
from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I
will never leave you nor forsake you." I was struck by the link of
contentment with the promised that Jesus will never leave or forsake us. When that promise grips us it becomes easier
for us to be content with what we have. If
Jesus is always with us and will never forsake us, then our confidence is in
him rather than in the material things around.
We don’t need to seek after things that we don’t have but learn to be
content with the things that we do have.[4]
So as Solomon reminds us, “It is better to go to the house of mourning
than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and
the living will lay it to heart.” [5] Our dealing with the passing of Malcolm
focused my heart and mind on my priority in living – is it for self, or for
God? Where is my heart?
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